Walden patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Alan. I’m sure there’s a very lonely librarian out there who loves coupons as much as you do." "She’s an archivist, Walden! And she’s magnificent!"
Alan Harper was staring at his reflection in the mirror, practicing his "I’m an alpha male" face, which mostly just looked like he had a mild toothache. Watch Two And a Half Men S11E21
"Check the fridge," Alan suggested. "That’s where I keep my pride. Right behind the expired yogurt." Walden patted his shoulder
Walden, lounging on the couch with a green juice that cost more than Alan's car, didn't look up. "Alan, the last time you tried to be 'mysterious,' the police questioned you for three hours because you were lurking near a mailbox." And she’s magnificent
Just then, Jenny—Charlie’s long-lost daughter—stumbled in, smelling faintly of cheap tequila and bad decisions. "Hey, roomies. Anyone seen my dignity? I think I left it at a dive bar called 'The Rusty Anchor' or in the back of a Prius. It’s a toss-up."
"Walden!" he shouted, scurrying into the living room. "I’ve decided. Tonight, I am a man of mystery. I am the shadow in the night. I am... going to the local library’s silent auction."