[s7e7] The One — With Ross's Library Book

The student blinked. "I just needed something to prop up my laptop."

Ross sighed, took his book, and checked it out himself. As he walked out, he realized that while the world might not be ready to worship at the altar of his dissertation, at least he knew exactly where it was: safely tucked under his arm, away from the wandering hands of NYU's amorous undergraduates.

"No one goes back there?" Ross recoiled. "People should be flocking there! My findings on the late Cretaceous period are revolutionary!" [S7E7] The One With Ross's Library Book

"She said I was a 'great pal,'" Joey reported later, looking uncharacteristically wounded. "I got 'palled'! This is what it feels like? It’s awful! I’m going to go eat a meatball sub in the dark."

"She’s perfect," Joey moaned into a slice of pizza. "She likes sports, she laughs at my jokes, and she didn’t even mind when I used her toothbrush. I have to break up with her." The student blinked

The couple barely looked up, so Ross took his grievance to the front desk. The librarian, a woman who looked like she hadn’t smiled since the mid-seventies, stared at him blankly as he explained that his book was being used as a "backdrop for a tryst."

Back at the library, Ross’s vigil had taken a dark turn. He had fallen asleep against a shelf, only to be woken by a student actually reaching for his book. "No one goes back there

Determined to protect the sanctity of his contribution to science, Ross began a self-appointed "Dissertation Watch." He spent the next three hours lurking behind a cart of encyclopedias, pouncing on anyone who lingered too long near the 700s. He even brought a small velvet rope from his apartment, though the librarian made him take it down.